“The Genshin Yandere You Picked Could Have a Lot to Say About Your… Interests“
❤︎ Synopsis. Ever wonder what your Genshin Yandere says about your deepest, darkest desires? It’s memes, it’s psychoanalysis, and it’s all wrapped in a kinky, chaotic package—don’t say I didn’t warn you.
♡ Book. Forbidden Fruits: Intimate Obsessions, Unhinged Desires.
♡ Pairing. Yandere! Genshin Impact Males (Alhaitham, Diluc, Zhongli, Dainsleif, Ayato, Childe, Scaramouche, Kaeya, Baizhu, Itto, Kazuha, Lyney, Pantalone, Heizou, Venti, Xiao) x Fem. Reader (separate)
♡ Headcanons. What Your Favorite Genshin Yandere REALLY Says About You
♡ Word Count. 4,543
♡ TW. dom + top + older yandere, non-con, general manipulation, forced relationship, suggestive content, kinks
♡ Note. Due to Tumblr policy, all characters are all of age. This post is meant to be a fun, exaggerated meme—don’t take it too seriously. It’s all in good humor and not a deep psychological analysis (but maybe a little bit).
♡ A/N. So I made a shiz post. Not really meant to be taken seriously. But you know me, I’m an analysis kind of person. So formatting is basically in shiz post and memes, but actually has a bit of substance. Hope this makes you laugh even a bit, because I’m not really a comedic person lol. Either way, take this with a grain of salt.
♡ Alhaitham.
You’re into men who think they’re smarter than you (and they are, but that’s hot, isn’t it?). You think intellectual superiority is the hottest thing ever. You’re also into intellectual domination and being lectured until your self-esteem breaks. You’ve fantasized about him tying you up and reading a book in front of you, completely ignoring your pleas. You like intellectual degradation and secretly want to be turned into his thesis project.
“This is for your intellectual growth,” he says as you cry. You probably think him not texting you back is hot. You think being told, “I calculated the exact number of steps you’d take to escape me” is foreplay.
You want someone who pretends they don’t care but will burn the world for you if someone breathes wrong in your direction. You want someone who’ll hold you in their lap while casually explaining how they’ve systematically dismantled your social circle.
Bonus points if he makes you think it was your idea to begin with. Intellectual bullying? Yes, please. A sucker for a man who could explain the quadratic formula during foreplay.
You tell yourself you like being independent, but you’d fold if he told you to “be good.” You’re secretly into being gaslit but only if he uses big words. You’re also not above fantasizing about being “punished” for distracting his reading.
Congratulations, you’re a closet masochist with a thing for emotionally constipated intellectuals.
Kink Radar: You’re into praise kink, degradation kink, and whatever that thing called “debates as foreplay” counts as. Probably have a thing for cold shoulders and veins.
♡ Diluc Ragnvindr.
You’re into cold hands, warm heart, and fiery jealousy. Daddy issues, but in a classy, vineyard-owning kind of way. Daddy issues, but you call it “noble aesthetic.”.
Anyways, let’s not sugarcoat it—you want a grumpy, overprotective man who forces you to stay in the mansion “for your safety.” Bonus points if he’s whispering threats to anyone who even breathes in your direction. You crave the unhinged dichotomy of a man who burns for you literally and figuratively but is too emotionally constipated to say it.
Also, you’re not-so-secretly into being locked in his wine cellar for your “own good” while he makes dramatic speeches about how you’re his light in the darkness. Your kink is accidental house arrest. Therapy? No, you’re just drinking the pain away with his vintage wine.
You’ve 100% thought about him showing up at your window at midnight, drenched from the rain, and saying something like, “You’re the only light I have left.” You think about his gloved hands choking you more than you should, but you call it “character analysis.”
You have a savior complex, but you also want to be choked in leather gloves. The “I’m doing this to protect you” energy gets you off faster than pyro damage in Dragonspine.
Kink Radar: Choking, crying, and “oops, I burned the ropes tying you up because I was too mad at myself” energy. Definitely into angry possessiveness.
♡ Zhongli (Rex Lapis / Morax).
Oh, so you’re into commitment. You dream of being crushed under a 6000-year-old rock of possessive love. But you also have a crippling sugar baby fantasy. You want a sugar daddy (but is broke 90% of the time) who treats you like glassware and controls your entire life because “you’re fragile and need his guidance.”
You like being called “my little treasure” and having absolutely zero autonomy because this man would straight-up lock you in his golden birdcage while lecturing you about Liyue history. You probably want him to immortalize you in amber, literally. You’re into the “old-world charm” yanderes who would write a 100-page contract explaining why your freedom is “optional.” Don’t lie; you want to be part of his private collection of treasures.
The thought of him calmly reciting an obscure contract about why you’ll never leave him is weirdly hot to you. You’d let him gaslight you with a poetic monologue and then say “thank you” afterward. You’re into elegant, obsessive types who’ll make your imprisonment feel like royalty.
You want to be worshipped but also dominated in the most poetic way possible. You’ve imagined him making you sign a contract for cuddles. The thought of someone dragging you into their Dragon Hoard of Love™ has you feral. You romanticize Stockholm Syndrome because “he’s so ancient and wise about it.”
You’ve also said “step on me, sir” unironically at least once in your life.
And, you probably fantasize about ancient contracts where you sign away your freedom in exchange for a lifetime of… rock-hard devotion.
Financial domination? More like Geo domination. You don’t just want possessiveness—you want eternal possessiveness. You’re into people who could both murder and write a historical dissertation about it.
You probably fantasize about being bound in Geo constructs, don’t lie.
Kink Radar: Overstimulation, bondage with literal geo constructs, and being worshipped like you’re his next Archon War relic.
♡ Dainsleif.
Forbidden love makes you weak, and you absolutely want him to chain you up for your safety. You have abandonment issues but also a self-destructive urge to “fix him.” You love the idea of someone who’d never leave you… like, ever. You’re deeply into the “tragic, brooding antihero with a dark past” trope. You want someone who will carry the emotional baggage of a small country while whispering about your “fragile mortality.”
You’re also into tragic, self-loathing men who would rather die than admit they’re obsessed with you (but they’re following you anyway). “Dark knight” aesthetics send you into a frenzy.
You also like being haunted—emotionally and literally. And you think suffering is sexy.
You want someone who looks like they haven’t had a decent night’s sleep in 500 years but still has the energy to stalk you across nations. You’re into suffering, longing stares, and the type of guy who would whisper, “I’ll protect you… from myself,” while gripping your arm hard enough to bruise.
You like your yanderes with a heavy dose of existential dread. You also think emotional repression is hot. Also, you’re into edgy guys with mysterious pasts who’d probably chain you up in a ruined cathedral and call it “our sanctuary.” Therapy isn’t even an option; you live for the angst.
You’re into angsty, immortal types who’ll lock you away because “the curse must not touch you” while staring into the abyss. Bonus points if he’s crying while he does it.
You probably romanticize your own suffering and call it “tragic beauty.” The whole “watch the world burn while holding your hand” vibe does something unspeakable to you.
Kink Radar: Edging, sadomasochism, and hearing him moan your name like it’s a sacred hymn. Also, you’re here for tragic, apocalyptic slow-burns.
♡ Kamisato Ayato.
Manipulative men in suits? Say less. Soft yandere vibes make you feel safe and horny at the same time. You’re 100% into being kidnapped and pampered like a trophy spouse. You want to be someone’s pet, plain and simple.
You’re into soft power—like tea ceremonies where you’re trapped in his lap and “politely” reminded how easily he can destroy anyone who comes near you. You’d let him manipulate you into thinking you don’t need anyone else.
You want to be the forbidden fruit he protects with subtle yet ruthless domination.
You also have a fantasy about being fed strawberries off a silver platter while he interrogates your entire family. Bet you’re into being tied up with silk ribbons and whispered threats in a refined accent. You have a thing for manipulative control freaks in a suit.
You’re probably into choking but want it done in a classy way, like during afternoon tea. You tell yourself you like him for his elegance and cunning, but we all know it’s because he could pin you to a wall while whispering, “Don’t make me repeat myself.”
You also want someone who smiles sweetly while cutting off all your contacts, convincing you that your isolation is just another calculated move in his political game.
You’re down bad for a puppet master.
Kink Radar: Obedience kink, leash play, and being called “good girl.” You want someone classy who also might poison your tea to keep you from leaving the house. Subtle power play and absolutely losing control to a man who never does.
♡ Childe (Tartaglia).
Oh, you’re into chaos and violence.
You’re feral for the “soft boy in the streets, murder machine in the sheets” dynamic. You’re feral for chaos, violence, and men who’d destroy the world for you while also begging for your approval. You’re into morally questionable men with a casual “murder is fine as long as it’s for you” vibe.
You want to be kidnapped by a hot hitman who tells you he’ll let you go after you say you love him. You want someone who’ll kiss you sweetly one moment and laugh maniacally while threatening to slaughter anyone who flirts with you the next.
You probably think being chased around the house with a hydro blade is peak foreplay. You also think a little knife play builds character. You think yanderes should be fun and dangerously hot. Your safe word is probably “Foul Legacy.”
You’re definitely into playful sadism—until it gets serious, and then he’s all “you’re mine, and I’ll destroy the world for you.”
You think it’s cute when someone’s ready to commit war crimes in your name. Bonus points if he’s covered in blood but still flirting.
Knife play, degradation, and the phrase, “If I can’t have you, no one can” make you feral. You think danger is sexy, and yes, you’ve definitely considered letting him stab you just to see the look on his face. You’re not well, but neither is he, so it works.
Kink Radar: Biting, knife play, and that whole “I could kill you, but I’d rather make you scream” energy. You love when he switches between “playful” and “I will burn everything for you.” Bloodlust, and probably fighting to near death before making out. Bonus points if there’s a war crime involved.
♡ Scaramouche (Wanderer).
You’re into brat taming, both ways. His rage and small stature fuel your unholy desire for brat taming. You think tantrums and murder threats are a love language. Though, you can still be into brat taming, but somehow you’re the one getting tamed. You want to be insulted. Brutally. Repeatedly. The meaner he is, the more you’re into it. You’d let him throw you across a room and call you pathetic while you thank him. You also have a massive brat complex, and the idea of him “punishing” you is your ultimate dream.
You want someone who calls you names, makes you cry, and then begrudgingly hugs you afterward. You generally love men who insult you while threatening your entire existence. You’re into humiliation kink but with a lot of dramatic flair.
You think bullying is a love language. You’d rather be insulted by your yandere than hear them say something nice. You probably have a playlist of villains laughing on repeat. Also, you’re here for the redemption arc that turns him into a soft-yet-still-toxic mess.
Bet you fantasize about him calling you useless while secretly crying into your lap because no one else “understands him.” You want to hear “You’re pathetic, but you’re mine” while he ties you to the bed and makes you regret existing in the best way possible.
You want verbal degradation but also a secret shrine in his closet.
His god complex? A feature, not a bug.
You’re into emotional whiplash and want to be simultaneously insulted and worshipped.
Your favorite genre is “damaged but hot.”
Kink Radar: Name-calling, humiliation, brat taming, and angry make-out sessions where he pins you against a wall. Degradation, and a toxic dependency so strong it could fuel three seasons of a K-drama.
♡ Kaeya Alberich.
You want someone who’s all smiles and charm in public but would happily manipulate you into thinking he’s your only lifeline. You’re into the smooth-talker who makes you feel special while plotting your entire downfall. You like your men charming, toxic, and impossible to read. Drama is your life blood.
You think the whole “I could destroy you, but I’d rather seduce you” act is hot. You’re here for the manipulative bastard who knows how to work his way into your heart (and bed). You’re 100% into mind games, late-night drinking sessions that end in confessions, and the type of yandere who’d make you question your entire existence while smirking.
You have a thing for pretty liars who smell like danger and expensive cologne. Bet you’re into being cornered against a bar counter while he smirks and whispers things like, “Don’t think you can leave me, sweetheart.”
You’re into the whole “playful flirting turns into actual possessive obsession” trope. You’d let him seduce you into making every single bad decision and still think you’re special because “he’s so vulnerable around me.”
You like charm, wit, and dangerous levels of gaslighting. But, let’s be real: you’re here for the smirk and the handcuffs. You think his smirking while making you beg is peak romance. We get it, you’re a mess.
Kink Radar: Voyeurism, biting, and “oops, I tied you up again because I just can’t trust you, darling.” You live for fake apologies followed by sinful smirks. Teasing, edging, and a toxic amount of game-playing where neither of you knows who’s winning. Also, you have a thing for the eye patch.
♡ Baizhu.
You’re into the “soft but secretly terrifying” trope. You have a weird thing for doctors but refuse to admit it. You like being “taken care of” but also want a man who’d lowkey experiment on you for the sake of love.
You’re into the hot doctor who seems so sweet and caring but is 100% the type to lock you in his clinic under the guise of “keeping you healthy.” You want a man who’ll medicate you into submission while acting like he’s doing it for your own good. You’re into nurturing yanderes who’ll keep you locked up in a sickroom just to play doctor-patient roleplay.
You think “doctor’s orders” is the ultimate kink and probably have a thing for soft-spoken possessiveness.
You want a man who makes you tea and poisons it, so you’re too weak to leave him. You’ve 100% thought about him murmuring, “It’s for your own good, my dear.” You like subtle, sinister possessiveness.
The thought of him drugging you just enough to keep you pliant while he strokes your hair is…uncomfortably appealing to you. Yeah, you’re into medical kink. Own it.
Kink Radar: Medical play, temperature checks, and toxic levels of doting. Also, “accidentally” overusing aphrodisiacs because he can’t help himself.
♡ Arataki Itto.
You like your yanderes stupid but devoted. You’re probably into physical strength and the idea of being carried around like a sack of potatoes. You also think dumb is hot.
You want a man who will both fight an entire village for your affection and accidentally destroy your kitchen trying to cook you dinner. You fantasize about being affectionately suffocated by pure muscle while he pouts about you looking at other men.
You want a himbo who would literally break down a wall to get to you. You’re into being carried around like a princess and having someone so stupidly obsessed with you that he cries if you’re gone for five minutes. You’ve imagined him kidnapping you in broad daylight and yelling, “YOU’RE MINE NOW!” in front of everyone.
You’re into the himbo yandere who doesn’t realize he’s being creepy. You think it’s cute when he insists on “guarding you” 24/7, even when you’re just buying groceries. You’d let him kidnap you as long as he brought snacks.
You’re into the himbo yandere who’s too dumb to realize kidnapping is bad. You want a himbo yandere who chains you up and then loses the key. You think being kidnapped by someone too dumb to pull it off properly is adorable. You want fun chaos, possessive puppy vibes, and poorly executed kidnapping attempts that end with you both laughing.
He’d probably barricade you in his hideout with love notes written in crayon and say it’s because he “just loves ya so much, babe.”
You’re here for the chaotic, possessive energy and low-key want to be manhandled. Respectfully. Size kink and “oops I didn’t realize my strength” fantasies. You want muscle, chaos, and love so pure it’s almost terrifying.
Kink Radar: Strength play, hair pulling, and being called ridiculous nicknames mid-intense cuddling. Probably into accidental destruction during passionate moments. You just want to have fun, okay?
♡ Kaedehara Kazuha.
You like the soft yandere trope, but let’s not pretend you’re innocent. You’re into someone writing obsessive poetry about you while keeping a knife close at all times to “protect” you. You want a poetic sad boy who’ll write you haikus about how much he loves you while holding you captive in a beautiful, tragic romance. You’re here for the aesthetic kidnapping experience—chains, flowers, and sunsets included.
You like the idea of quiet insanity masked by poetic whispers and moonlit kisses. You’ve imagined him pinning you against a tree, whispering something tragic like, “You’re the wind that guides me… but I’d clip your wings to keep you close.”
You love tortured poets and the “hauntingly beautiful soul who’d die for you” aesthetic. You want a poetic, wandering soul who’ll recite haikus while quietly sabotaging your escape attempts. You’re into the soft-spoken type who’d never raise his voice…unless it’s to tell someone exactly how he’ll end them for touching you.
You romanticize emotional stability but thrive on chaos. You’re weirdly into the juxtaposition of “gentle lover” and “brutal enforcer.” You love quiet intensity and the idea of someone who seems soft but could kill a man for you without blinking. Bonus points if they quote poetry mid-murder. Let’s be real, you’d swoon.
You like calm, quiet types who’ll write you love letters while tying you to a tree. Bonus: He’ll recite a haiku after every “punishment.”
Kink Radar: Sensory play, blindfolds, and soft-spoken threats that sound like poetry. Bondage and whispering sweet nothings while tying you up with red silk. Bonus points if it’s under a cherry blossom tree. You fantasize about Stockholm Syndrome, but make it artsy.
♡ Lyney.
You like magicians, but make it terrifying. You’re into the theater kid turned obsessive stalker trope. You want someone who can manipulate everyone around you into thinking you’re the crazy one for wanting to leave.
You want your yandere with a touch of theatrical flair. You’re into someone who could trap you in an elaborate magic trick and call it romance. You probably find manipulative charm incredibly sexy, especially when paired with an accent.
“Trust issues” are your kink. You like illusions—both literal and metaphorical. You’re into magicians who’ll gaslight you into thinking their obsession is “just part of the act.” You probably fantasize about being sawed in half (kinkily, of course).
You’re into sleight-of-hand obsession and being made to feel like his most “precious trick.” You know the card tricks are just foreplay to making you disappear from your friend group. You’d let him lock you in a box and call it romance.
Bet you fantasize about him pulling roses out of nowhere while casually slipping a handcuff on your wrist. Kink level: magic rope.
And don’t lie—his yandere laugh does it for you.
Kink Radar: Sleight of hand, sleight of clothes, and being the unwilling “assistant” in his grand kidnapping tricks. Magic tricks but make it kinky. Misdirection, and definitely handcuffs.
♡ Pantalone.
Financial domination, but you’re also 90% sure he’s scamming you. You probably think blackmail is romantic, and it shows.
You’re down bad for a rich, scheming bastard who’ll shower you in luxury while keeping you chained to his golden bedpost. You’re into rich, controlling sugar daddies with criminal tendencies.
You probably fantasize about being locked in a gilded cage while he spoils you just enough to make you question whether it’s love or control. You’re probably into contracts, too. You’d let him ruin your life as long as he bought you nice things.
You want to be spoiled but also controlled because he’d 100% tell you what to wear, how to act, and who you’re allowed to see. You’ve imagined him saying something like, “You’ll be compensated for your obedience, darling.”
Bet you’re into dark finance roleplay and power imbalance kinks. You also think being his “pretty little investment” is romantic. The way he’d say “you’re mine, and that’s non-negotiable” makes you shiver, and you’re not ashamed.
Your type is rich, evil, and devastatingly polite. You think capitalism is sexy if it comes with a sharp smile and a well-tailored suit.
Kink Radar: Power play, money worship, and being bent over a desk while he counts mora. You’d let him bribe you into staying forever. Capitalism never looked so good.
♡ Shikanoin Heizou.
You like the “I’ll catch you in every lie” types who’ll smile while interrogating you about where you’ve been. You have issues with authority but love the idea of being investigated. You want to be interrogated with handcuffs that aren’t for police work. You want someone who pretends to be morally upright but would 100% gaslight you into staying because “you’re safer this way.”
You’re into playful interrogation scenes that turn dark fast and think being handcuffed to his desk while he lectures you is peak romance. A mix of playful sadism and deadly intent gets you going. You’re into mind games, but only if you lose every time. You’ve 100% fantasized about him solving a “case” that ends with you being his prime suspect… and punishment is intimate interrogation.
You like smart men who’ll solve crimes but also stalk you for sport. Bonus points if he teases you into losing your mind. You probably like being pinned against walls.
You want a Sherlock Holmes-type who’ll outsmart you at every turn and make you fall for his mind games. You’re into playful yanderes who know exactly how to outmaneuver you but look adorable while doing it.
You call it “detective work,” but it’s Stockholm Syndrome.
Kink Radar: Roleplay, mind games, and “oops, I locked you in because I wanted you all to myself, hehe.” You think “detective” is just code for “sexy schemer.”
♡ Venti.
You want someone to ruin your life and make it seem fun. You want to be serenaded into submission by a chaotic bard who hides his obsession behind flowery words and playful smiles. You like your yanderes with a side of drunken charm and possessive melodies.
You’re into chaotic whimsy. The thought of someone who’s all jokes and lightheartedness but secretly obsessing over you is what you live for. You’re into playful stalking, the idea of being serenaded at midnight, and someone who’d sing cheerful tunes while plotting your enemies’ downfall.
You’re into the deceptively sweet type who’d happily lull you into a false sense of security with songs and booze before chaining you to his statue. Bonus points if he pins you against a wall while tipsy and slurs poetic threats into your ear.
You love chaos, possessiveness disguised as whimsy, and toxic amounts of clinginess. You’re into playful manipulation and want someone who looks harmless but would 100% keep you locked in his archon domain for eternity “because you’re his muse.”
You’d let him ruin your life as long as he wrote you poetry afterward. You’re also a little bit into the idea of divine punishment.
Kink Radar: Bondage with his lyre strings, intoxication kink, and being worshipped like a god in the most unsettling way. You’re weak for poetic threats.
♡ Xiao.
You’re into emotionally stunted warriors who act like kidnapping you is an act of love. You want a brooding bad boy who tells you to stay away while staring at you obsessively from a distance. You like brooding, angsty men who are one breakdown away from destroying the world for you.
You want your yandere to suffer, because nothing says “romantic” like an emotionally tormented yaksha who hides his obsession behind stoicism. You’re into tragic, brooding types who’d murder for you but also hate themselves for it.
Bet you’re into being treated like a precious doll while he whispers about how unworthy he is to love you. You definitely fantasize about him losing control and “accidentally” holding you just a little too tightly. The idea of him spiriting you away to a hidden mountain shrine and guarding you 24/7 is a little too appealing.
You’re into emotionally constipated men who’d literally commit genocide to protect you but then awkwardly apologize for holding your hand. You want the kind of guy who’d push you away and then have a breakdown because you listened. You think suffering together is romantic.
You’re into emotional angst, self-sacrificing devotion, and being held hostage by love. You’re also into silent suffering and a man who’d slaughter thousands to protect you, then say, “I don’t deserve you.”
You probably have a savior complex. You like brooding, tortured types who would kill for you but also guilt you into never leaving.
Kink Radar: Biting, blood play, and being pinned against a wall while he growls, “I can’t control myself anymore.” You think angst is the spice of life.
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P.S. Wow, for once, I’m writing something comedy and memes. Either way, hope this made your day. All in good fun :))
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𝐆𝐨𝐝'𝐬 𝐏𝐫𝐨𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐨𝐧𝐢𝐬𝐭 