𝐆𝐨𝐝'𝐬 𝐏𝐫𝐨𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐨𝐧𝐢𝐬𝐭

Boy meets girl. Girl cries about butterflies. Girl also poisons pastries. Classic romance.

♡ Yandere! Tsundere x Fem. Reader. Kiss, Kill, Repeat.

♡ Word Count. 931

♡ Yandere! Tsundere who’s a brooding, sharp-eyed mercenary turned reluctant hero. Who’s got the face of a man permanently one bad day away from gutting the nearest person, and the social skills of a brick wall hurled through a stained glass window.

♡ Yandere! Tsundere who hates people. Who hates talking. Who hates courting even more, but finds himself involuntarily doing it anyway. Because unfortunately, unfortunately, there’s a certain new figure on the chessboard of this crumbling, cursed isekai kingdom who’s caught his attention.

You.

A laughing, crying, wildly theatrical disaster of a woman who acts like a ditzy court jester one moment, then leaves entire villages in ashes the next. The kind of person who sobs over a butterfly with a broken wing, then cheerfully slits a man’s throat for stepping on it. Nobody knows your real name. Nobody even knows where you came from. All they know is that a new “rising merchant lord” has appeared out of nowhere, with a smile so bright it makes people uneasy. A voice like honeyed poison. And a pair of eyes that flicker between doe-eyed innocence and something else.

♡ Yandere! Tsundere first saw you at a council meeting he hadn’t even wanted to attend. The kind where everyone postures and flatters and licks the boots of nobles who haven’t lifted a sword in decades. You’d burst into the room halfway through a dull report on grain shortages, tripped over a servant, made a joke about kissing a duke’s wrinkled feet for luck, and then burst into tears when the room laughed.

Then smiled.

And ♡ Yandere! Tsundere knew — knew — he should stay the hell away from you.

Because you were dangerous.

Not in the obvious way. Not in the hulking warlord kind of way. No, in the way that made his skin prickle, like he was standing on the edge of a cliff with no memory of how he got there.

But did that stop him?

Of course not.

♡ Yandere! Tsundere who’s been avoiding attachments his entire life, only to find himself inexplicably compelled to one over-emotional, two-faced lunatic. Who finds himself buying you gifts under the guise of “plunder from the last battle,” then gruffly throwing them at you like an angry cat offering a dead mouse.

♡ Yandere! Tsundere who would rather eat his own sword than admit he’s trying to court you.

And you, the bright, weeping, guffawing, endlessly dramatic nightmare, who’s secretly also been isekai’d into this dystopian fantasy hellhole. Who woke up in this world with nothing but a bloodstained cloak and a divine mission from a god you suspect doesn’t exist. Your real mission? Assassinate the Kingdom’s rising hero before he destabilizes the power balance.

Your target?

Him.

Not that you know that yet. Because he’s been smart enough to operate under an alias. Just as you have.

And so begins the stupidest, darkest, most absurdly hilarious courtship known to man.

♡ Yandere! Tsundere who turns up at your shop with fresh game meat he refuses to admit he hunted because he “happened to be passing through.” Who glares at you for three straight minutes after you make a terrible pun about wanting his “meat” in your kitchen. Who storms out, face red, then leaves a rare enchanted dagger on your doorstep that night.

♡ Yandere! Tsundere who keeps accidentally saving your life in battles neither of you were supposed to be at, then growling things like “don’t get the wrong idea, I just needed a decoy.”

You, who dramatically sob and throw yourself into his arms every time, wailing about how you’ve “never been so touched,” while secretly wondering if he’s the hero you’re supposed to kill.

You, who leave poisoned pastries at his camp under the guise of gifts, and then have to watch in dismay as he hands them to his horse. (Who dies. Which he takes personally. And then accuses you of sabotage. Which you, naturally, deny with giant crocodile tears.)

♡ Yandere! Tsundere who’s starting to suspect you’re not what you seem. But finds himself captivated anyway. Who starts showing up at your door after fights, bleeding and irritable, claiming he “didn’t have anywhere else to go.”

You, who patch him up while reciting terrible jokes, and then spend the night plotting how best to slit his throat in his sleep. Only to find yourself watching him, the steady rise and fall of his chest, the scar across his jaw, and feeling… something inconvenient.

♡ Yandere! Tsundere who builds you a makeshift weapons rack for your “trinkets” and pretends it’s because your shop’s clutter offends his eyes.

You, who fill it with absurdly ornate, cursed objects and wait to see if he notices. (He does. He steals the worst one to use on a job. Comes back a week later, limping. You laugh so hard you cry. He punches a wall.)

♡ Yandere! Tsundere who offers to train you in swordsmanship “so you won’t be useless when shit hits the fan.”

You, who pretend to be terrible with a blade while secretly being a prodigy.

And so the dance continues.

Neither of you knowing you’re each other’s target. Both of you falling, in the messiest, most ridiculous way possible.

Until the night of the royal masquerade.

Where the contracts will be fulfilled. Where identities will be unmasked. Where the brooding tsundere hero will come face to face with the weeping, laughing, psychopath merchant lord who’s been ruining his life and invading his thoughts.

And neither of you will know whether to kiss or kill each other first.

⋅───⊱༺ ♰ ༻⊰───⋅

♡ A/N. Ah yes, random comedy thoughts at midnight.

General TAG LIST of “Whispers In The Dark”: @keisocool , @elvabeth , @elloredef , @mjsjshhd , @lem-hhn , @yuki-istired , @lilyalone , @starryperson , @yandreams-storageblog , @tiffyisme3760 , @songbirdgardensworld , @yune1337 , @mocalocha , @astreaaaaaa6 , @poopooindamouf , @esther-kpopstan , @iris-arcadia , @hopingtocleaemedschool , @doncellaescarlata , @futuristicxie , @neuvilletteswife4ever

❤︎ Fang Dokja’s Books.

♡ For Reader-Inserts. I only write Male Yandere x Female (Fem.) Reader (heterosexual couple). No LGBTQ+:

♡ Book 1. A Heart Devoured (AHD): A Dark Yandere Anthology

♡ Book 2. Forbidden Fruits (FF): Intimate Obsessions, Unhinged Desires.

♡ Book 3. World Ablaze (WA) : For You, I’d Burn the World.

♡ Book 4 [you are here]. Whispers in the Dark (WITD): Subtle Devotion, Lingering Shadows.

♡ Book 5. Ink & Insight (I&I): From Dead Dove to Daydreams.

♡ Library MASTERPOST 1. The Librarian’s Ledger: A Map to The Library of Forbidden Texts.

♡ Notice #1. Not all stories are included in the masterpost due to Tumblr’s link limitations. However, most long-form stories can be found here. If you’re searching for a specific yandere or theme, this guide will help you navigate The Library of Forbidden Texts. Proceed with caution

♡ Book 6. The Red Ledger (TRL): Stained in Lust, Written in Blood.

♡ Notice #2. This masterlist is strictly for non-con smut and serves as an exercise in refining erotic horror writing. Comments that reduce my work to mere sexual gratification, thirst, or casual simping will not be tolerated. If your response is primarily thirst-driven, keep it to yourself—repeated violations may result in blocking. Read the RULES before engaging. The tag list is reserved for followers I trust to respect my boundaries; being included is a privilege, not a right. You may request to be added, but I will decide based on trust and adherence to my guidelines. I also reserve the right to remove anyone at any time if their engagement becomes inappropriate.

♡ Book 7. Corpus Delicti (CD): Donum Mortis.

♡ Book 8. Malum Consilium (MC): Primordial Hunger.